Although most of us find ourselves procrastinating at some point, there are a lot of misconceptions about why people procrastinate. People are often very critical of themselves when they procrastinate, believing that they are lazy, incompetent, or somehow “defective”. However, that’s not what’s really behind procrastination. The tasks you’re expected to accomplish are likely to be causing you a lot of stress. They may be stirring up deep fears or other issues, even if you’re not fully aware of them. Procrastination serves an important purpose in our lives; it can be a way of managing those emotions.
Why do people procrastinate? The real reasons:
Everyone has a different experience of procrastination, but a few of the most common reasons are outlined here.
Procrastination starts with your inner critic
Many people equate the quality of their work with their value as a person. Often when we are faced with large, overwhelming, or stressful tasks, they can trigger our underlying fears and insecurities – our very sense of self-worth may feel threatened. The thought of failing at a task is terrifying. Our negative self judgements take over. You may believe on some level that if you don’t do a good job, your worth as a person will drop. It might feel like other people will judge you too. Any criticism of your work might feel like a criticism of you, especially if you demand “perfection” of yourself. Work can feel especially overwhelming if it seems as if there’s an endless list of tasks to be done; it could feel like pressure might never ease. These self-critical feelings and overwhelming sensations spark procrastination.
Procrastination offers temporary relief
It makes sense that you’d want a break from all of the distressing fears and anxieties discussed above. Procrastination offers a temporary oasis. You can avoid the task at hand and escape from some of those painful feelings and questions about your self-worth. It also postpones the time when your work – and you – will being judged. Even if you’re not demanding perfection of yourself, procrastination can help you escape a general sense of stress. The more you feel that work and pressure are invading your life, the more likely you are to procrastinate and seek out leisure activities instead of doing what you “should” be doing. Unfortunately, procrastinating doesn’t offer complete relief from those stressors, and the relief it does provide is fleeting.
Procrastination lets you express resentment
We’re often placed in situations where we’re told there are things we “have to do” or we will face punishment, whether it’s writing a report at work or paying a parking ticket. Saying “no” often isn’t a reasonable option, and that can make us feel powerless. Procrastinating lets us do the next best thing – we can rebel and secretly express our resentment without facing many direct consequences. Putting off a task as long as possible, and perhaps even doing a half-hearted last minute effort, is a way of getting “unstuck” and taking back some control over your own life. Procrastination may allow you to feel like you’re regaining some of the power that others have over you.
Procrastination combats fear of failure and fear of success
Perfectionism and self-criticism of lead to an intense fear of failure. That fear can be especially strong if your sense of identity or self-worth focuses on one area of your life, such as your work. Procrastination can be a way of disengaging your self-worth from the task at hand; if you start late, the result will be rushed and not necessarily your best work. That means that if you’re judged or criticised, it’s not as much a reflection on you than it would be if you tried your hardest.
Likewise, success can feel frightening. Success might lead to additional demands and pressure placed upon you in the future. In some cases, success could mean transitioning to a new and uncertain stage of life, such as graduating from university or getting a job promotion that results in major life changes. You might also be concerned that other people in your life may start to resent your success. Procrastination can be used as a self-defeating behaviour to avoid success, as it could lead to producing rushed and lower quality work. In other cases, procrastination may be a way of avoiding the uncomfortable feeling of fear of success, or to delay possible success.
The reasons for procrastination are complex. Overcoming procrastination isn’t just about time management or motivation; it involves learning to feel compassion for ourselves and trusting in our own self-worth. Counselling can provide the support you need to soften your inner critic and develop a sense of your own self-worth.
If you or someone you know is struggling with procrastination, the team at Paul the Counsellor can help. The Paul the Counsellor team offers supportive, confidential, non-judgemental counselling in the Melbourne CBD.
0458 090 687
253 Lonsdale St, Melbourne VIC 3000