People move overseas for many reasons; for a job, to be with family, to create a better life, or to have a new adventure. Moving to a new country can be an exciting experience full of possibilities. However, even under the best circumstances moving overseas is often a stressful process. The time immediately after moving overseas can be lonely and full of anxiety and uncertainty. It can be much more taxing on a person’s physical, emotional, and mental health than many people realise.
For some people, the short term impacts of moving overseas pass rather quickly as they settle into their new home. For others, that adjustment period is prolonged and extremely difficult, and may even feel traumatic. Sadly, many people who are struggling to find their place after moving overseas do not have the supports in their new country to help them through that difficult time.
Although everyone’s experience is different when they move overseas, there are a few common issues that people struggle with.
Arranging the Practical Necessities
The first point of stress is often getting set up with the basic necessities; a place to live, utilities, a car, a phone, and employment. Not knowing how to best go about acquiring each of those things can be daunting and stressful. It’s hard to relax and feel secure until those things are taken care of. It can be frustrating and confusing to not know where to turn to get those pressing needs met. There are few times that many of us would have to deal with setting up all of those things from scratch; it could be an overwhelming task even in your own country where you’re familiar with the processes.
Newness
Newness can be exciting. It can also be exhausting. Even if you’re coming from a similar culture as the one you’re moving to, there are lots of minor differences in everyday things such as how to buy a train ticket or mail a letter. Something as seemingly small as buying the toiletries you require takes extra effort and consideration. Routine can be comfortable and lets us function on autopilot when we’re tired or when our energy is better focused elsewhere. In a new place, nothing is routine. In a new environment people have to be “switched on” all the time just to navigate the basics of daily life. It can be a thrill to discover the options available in a new place, but this also takes a lot of energy. When everything is new it’s easy to get tired out easily without realising exactly why.
Loneliness and Isolation
Loneliness and isolation are the biggest challenges for many people after they move overseas. People need some social interaction to thrive at the best of times, whether that’s having a deep conversation or simply meeting a friend to have coffee or see a movie. In a new place, it takes time to build those relationships.
Loneliness can be extraordinarily painful, especially at a time when people may be missing the friends and family they’ve left behind in their old country. Many people also feel like outsiders in their new country, immediately marked as different due to their accent or appearance. That can be very isolating and make it even harder to develop friendships.
The stress of moving is a time when people often need more support and contact than usual, but may have the least support and contact they’ve ever experienced. It’s common for people to feel like they’re surrounded by people, but alone in their time of need after they have moved overseas.
Language Barrier
If you’re moving to a country with a different language, even basic tasks can become much harder. Those with a high level of ability in the language may find that it takes awhile to learn the subtleties of the way people use the language, especially in humour. Those difficulties can make it that much harder to form new connections as well.
Cultural Differences
Cultural differences can sometimes be very large. People may be moving from a culture that values individual needs over the greater society or vice versa. It’s a vastly different way of perceiving the world and can affect every aspect of decision making. There can also be significant differences in etiquette and the way people form friendships and relationships. For people who have grown up in the culture, expectations and norms are second nature and may not even be in awareness. However, for someone new to a culture there are many pitfalls and the potential for misunderstandings or rejection. It can be remarkably confusing and every paralysing if you don’t know how other people will react to you or whether you’re breaking unspoken rules. People new to a country may also have different expectations of the people around them and feel offended or shocked and the behaviour of those around them. If someone is expecting their neighbours to greet them every day and their neighbours pass by wordlessly, the newly arrived person may feel hurt and wonder what they’ve done wrong. Cultural differences and misunderstandings can be the source of a lot of anguish, especially if they’re not recognised and understood. It takes time to become acquainted with the lifestyle and norms in a new place.
Sometimes people discount the importance of cultural differences between countries that seem relatively similar, such as the U.S., the U.K. and Australia. However, there are many subtle differences between those cultures that may lead to confusion and miscommunication. Even the way we order in restaurants, or how often we say “please” and “thank you” in interactions vary between cultures and can have a big impact on how we relate to other people and how we’re received by them.
Moving overseas can be a great adventure. Having extra support during the initial settling in stages can make a huge difference to how well people cope and thrive in their new country. Sometimes the process of moving overseas is particularly jarring and can interfere with someone’s ability to function in their day-to-day lives. Counselling can be a great help for people who are feeling overwhelmed by the experience of being in a new place.
If you or someone you know is adjusting to living in a new country, the team at Paul the Counsellor can help. Our team provides caring, confidential, non-judgemental counselling and psychotherapy in the Melbourne CBD.
0458 090 687
paulthecounsellor@gmail.com
253 Lonsdale St, Melbourne VIC 3000
